Baby on the move!

Kailyn has been army low crawling for a few weeks now. But until recently she wouldn't get very far very quickly. But she's finally figured it out. So we had to put up the baby gate. She's also getting up on her hands and knees and rocking back and forth. She'll move a leg forward but she'll fall on her tummy. I don't think it'll be long before she really gets going! Here's a picture of her helping Daddy put up her gate.

Kailyn has also been more fussy these past few weeks. It could be a combination of her not sleeping well because we've been gone from home so much this past month and teething. Can you see the teeth about to break through. I keep saying they'll come any day now, but they never do.

Yesterday we had a little mishap with her baby food. She's still not enjoying the pureed foods I make. She's more into chunks of our food.

And here's a video of her on the go. She's also saying "Momma". I love to watch her cheeks go while she says it.

1 Month

It's been one month since my dad's accident. In some ways it has gotten easier and in other ways I just miss him more! He's missing out on so much. I know some tell me that he's not missing out and he's able to watch us all the time, but really those words are not comforting at this point and time. I want to be able to give him a hug again and I want to see his face light up when he sees Kailyn. I want him to see all the new things she's doing. I still feel like I should be able to pick up the phone and call him. In this past month I had one day in which I did not shed a tear, and then I felt guilty for that. I know he wants me to be happy and to go on with my life, but I hate thinking that he's no longer apart of my life. I know he'll always be apart of my life, but what I mean is I'll no longer have any new memories with him. For almost my entire life, my dad was the number one guy in my life. I would turn to him for everything! If my car was making a funny noise I'd call him and stick my phone out my window so he could hear what I was talking about. I would call him when I would get hurt or when I needed to smile. He was also the go to guy if I had questions about our house. He would do anything for me. It's not fair that he has been taken from us this soon. We had so many plans in the future. He was so excited to come down here this August with his new truck so he could haul the big boat out to the lake. Last year he had a smaller truck and it just looked so funny hauling the boat. He was also looking forward to attending any of Kailyn's future ball games, dance recitals, choir concerts, etc... He very rarely missed any of mine. My dad was the best dad ever and I miss him so very much!

Update

Becky has been moved to Madonna Hospital in Lincoln. She'll be doing some inpatient rehab for awhile. Not sure how long they'll want to keep her there, but at least she's closer for us to go visit. As far as I know, the accident is still under investigation. We were told that the truck that caused the accident had passed a semi truck driver and the semi driver informed the police that the other driver had been driving distracted. He wasn't sure if it was due to talking on a cell phone or what, but he could clearly tell he was distracted. Becky has been talking with a lawyer. She has no plans to sue this guy for everything he has or anything, but she'll probably go after him for wrongful death. Maybe also pain and suffering, but she just wants to make sure all of the hospital and funeral home bills are paid for as well as her loss of income over her recovery.

We're planning on taking a short vacation to Denver this weekend. We'll be going to visit Brian's brother & girlfriend and my aunt & uncle. It should be a good distraction. I just hope Kailyn does well in the car during the drive. I'm excited to go to the Rockies baseball game on Saturday.

A poem that helps describe how I feel

Daddy

© Shariefa Hendricks

The day you answered God's call
Left an empty space
My world came crashing down
I couldn’t breathe…couldn’t talk…
I felt so numb, I couldn’t walk.

It was so hard to believe
That you were gone.
Once so strong;
Where do I belong?
Why did you have to leave?
Why did you have to go?

Thinking of you brings tears to my eyes
I never thought I would see your demise
Who will teach me right from wrong?
Now that you are gone?

Daddy, you put me through varsity
You did that by working with your hands
You built big buildings and painted tall walls
Times were tough that I knew
You did what you could, to help me through

You could fix anything you laid your hands on
There wasn’t a thing you couldn’t do
With a little cement or some glue
Just thinking about this, is making me blue!

You made me so proud on my wedding day
When you so unselfishly gave me away
You hugged me and wished me well
And I think a saw a tear

It was so hard for you to let me go
To let your “little girl” venture into a world unknown
Without you holding my hand or to catch me if I fall
But don’t worry daddy
I remember everything you taught me
If I forget, it’s a pity I can’t call

Now its time for me to let you go
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do
I Love you Daddy
More than words can describe
I wish you were here, I wish you were alive!

One Day at a Time

It's been twelve days since I received the phone call from my step brother, Ryan telling me the horrible news about my dad and becky's motorcycle accident. It's hard to express all the feelings I have, but I can say that it's getting easier to think of the happy memories I had with my dad. I think the hardest thing for me is thinking about all of the things he's going to miss out on with Kailyn. Even in just these twelve days she's doing new things that I wish I could pick up my phone and call him to tell him. She is a good distraction for me though. She's so happy and she makes me smile. Brian has also been amazing through all of this. I couldn't ask for anything different.

Becky is doing better, but she has another surgery scheduled for today. The doctors were hoping her bladder would fix itself but it doesn't look like that'll happen. They're not sure what or how they're going to fix it. It's hard to tell with all of the damage to her pelvis. She was told on Tuesday that the external fixators on her pelvis are going to have to stay for at least another 4 weeks. She's also non weight bearing on her left leg for at least 2 months because of her broken ankle and non weight bearing on her right leg for at least 3 months because her right hip was pretty much shattered and is "floating". Her left hand was also broken and is in a cast. She has a long road of recovery ahead of her both physically and emotionally. I can't imagine how she feels. She had to bury her first husband because of an ATV accident. No person should have to do this twice! It's just not fair!

As far as the guy that caused the accident, we're not very happy with his insurance company at this moment. They found out that my dad was a Shriner and he received a great discount on his motorcycle. So the insurance company went to the dealership to find out how much my dad actually paid for his motorcycle. They are trying to cut corners and trying to pay as little as possible. Another sad reality is the fact that my dad was in the middle of switching life insurance companies. He had all the paper work filled out, but he never made that first payment. I fear that this whole thing is going to take so long to work itself out which makes the healing process for me harder. I'm still in shock most days and question why this had to happen. It's just too sudden and too soon. I know that my dad is in heaven now and he will be watching over my family. I try to find comfort in the fact that now Brian will have one more guardian angel to look after him during his deployment which will be sometime this coming January or February.