I'm going to complain...

I'm really struggling with my new job here. I knew that I had it good in Texas, and I thought I was prepared for the change...but it's been a lot harder than what I thought it would be. I truly wish I could/can make a good impression on these kids, but it's been so hard to find the motivation. I feel so bad for the few good kids I do have in my classes because my time and patience are taken up by the others.

Most of you know that my pay was cut by over $20,000 per year. I was prepared for this that's not what makes my job so miserable. If that was the reason, I wouldn't have taken the job in the first place. Even if my pay INCREASED by $20,000 I would probably still complain.

I'm at school more than I'm home, which is hard. I take full responsibility for that, I decided I would coach volleyball. I like the head volleyball coach and I like the girls as well. We don't win very many games which kind of makes for a long season. But, we have 3 weeks left so we'll see how my attitude changes once I have more time to spend at home.

Now it's time to tell you a few stories of what has happened in my class. I had to go out and buy most of my own supplies for my classroom, including pens and pencils for the students to use because they don't come to class prepared. Not only do they not return the pen/pencil to my desk once they are done using them, but they CHEW on the ends of them and then try to throw them across the room into the trash can. In one day, I found two of MY pens laying by the trash can with the ends chewed off and a pencil as well!!! So then I decided to not provide them with pens/pencils, but then they don't take notes because they don't have anything to write with.

I give a quiz almost every day and my students know that they can use their notes and homework assignments on these quizzes. They are short and they are SUPPOSED to be easy. So that same day, I was reviewing my Algebra 2 class for their quiz and reminded them that they can use their notes and homework assignment on the quiz, so they should be writing this down. But of course some of them were not. And I was about to erase what I did from the board and they started to complain. So one of my good students said, "she said you can use your notes, you should've wrote it down." So I was standing in front of them and this one boy looks at me and says, "Move!" I was standing in his view of a problem that I had not erased yet and he wanted me to move so he could copy it down quick. I just stood there and looked at him and asked, "How do you ask a teacher to do something?" And his response was, "Fine, I'll just look around you" as he started to shift back in forth in his chair to see around me!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's see, I have a pregnant girl in a class that has morning sickness so she throws up almost every day in my class so she sits with the trash can right next to her. I've had kids swear at each other, yell across the room at each other, and even stab each other with a pencils!!!!! The kids have no respect for me or one another and it is ridiculous. They expect you to do everything for them, but they won't even TRY to learn for themselves. I had over a 50% failure rate at one point and time so I had to go talk with the principal. So I'm to the point where I'm going to lower my standards and not try so hard because I'm putting in 100% of my time and effort for these kids and they aren't even putting in 50% and I'm tired of it!!!

I'm not the only teacher that feels this way either. There are 2 other teachers that I went through new teacher orientation with and they are seriously thinking of resigning at semester!! They aren't first year teachers, just new to this district like me. The crappy thing is, we have to pay the district for resigning early and apparently you have to continue coming to work until they find a replacement. But I'm not sure if that's in our contract. I know we do have to pay $1,500, but I'm not sure about that second part. All I know is, this is my first and LAST year working for this district!!!!

Sorry for complaining and for being so negative. I try to go in each day with a positive attitude, but it's getting harder and harder each day! On Thursday and Friday I had 3 different kids come up to me at 3 different times asking me if I was okay because I looked sad/tired!!!! And it's a bad thing when your husband makes a comment 3 hours after you've been home saying, "I think that's the first smile I've seen since you've been home!"