13 Days Down

Well I have made it almost 2 weeks.  Parts have been easier, while others harder than I thought they'd be. I'm loving that Brian and I have been able to skype as much as we have.  Though I wish I could be the one to pick up the phone and call him instead of always waiting by my phone wondering if/when we'll talk.

Kailyn and I just returned from San Antonio.  We had a wonderful time visiting friends.  It was a great distraction, that's for sure.  I absolutely love San Antonio and my friends that live there.  I have so many fond memories and can't wait to go back again.  I will post some pictures on facebook soon.  Last night when we got home, reality really sunk in.  When I first opened our garage door and I saw Brian's car my heart started to race for a very brief second.  For that second I had the hope that he was home waiting for us.  But alas, we came home to an empty house.  Ok, it wasn't completely empty.  Our two cats were there to welcome us home, crying for some attention.  :)

I stumbled across this poem and I feel I can relate to quite a bit that it says.  Though I feel that I have many friends and family members that do know and understand what I'm going through.  And for that I'm very grateful!

You don't know, but I'm the girl who cries every night, and hopes every morning for his safe return. 
I'm the girl who drags herself out of bed every morning so that he will be proud of her when he comes home. 
I'm the girl who lies in bed longing for him to be lying next to me. 
You don't know, but I'm the girl with a million things to say, but not one will come out without the thought of him. 

I'm the girl who stops and stares and wishes for him to return soon each and every time another man in uniform walks by. 
What you don't know is that I know love on an entirely different level from most. 
I know the love that spans time and space; that love that most people are constantly searching for. 
I'm one of the girls who waits months for a single kiss; a kiss that will make the months apart worth every second. 
A kiss where everything in the world stops and for what seems like eternity, you can see into that person's soul and know that without them, life is not worth living. 

You tell me I don't even understand what love is, I tell you, I know more love in one homecoming, than most know in a life time. 
You don't know that every time he leaves, part of me goes with him and part of him stays with me. 
You tell me that people change and I tell you, true love will always remain constant and steady. 
You tell me you know how I feel and that you understand what I'm going through; you have no idea. 
What you don't realize is that I understand the true meaning of not only love, but of longing and anticipation. 
You don't see, but I'm one of the few who gets goose bumps as my heart fills with pride every time the National Anthem is played. 
I'm one of the girls who will stand tall and stay strong on the outside, but be dying on the inside. 

I am one of those girls who will make friends with complete strangers for only they can even begin to understand what I am going through. 
You don't understand that I picture his face everywhere I go and that he is with me in everything I do. 
You think I don't cry anymore, that I have gotten over it, but what you don't know is that I just hide it better. 
You don't know the feeling the first time you hear the word deployment or the feeling of his hands as it slides out of yours for what could be the last time. 
You don't know what that last hug or kiss means and how important that goodbye truly is. 

I'm the girl you see walking by with a disheartened face staring silently at the ground. 
What you don't know is, that I know true love and that no matter what obstacles we have to face, our love will live forever, that only we know. 
You tell me that you support the troops; I tell you, I'm in love with one. 
I'm one of the silent, but outgoing; weak, but strong; scared, but grateful. 
What you don't see is that without me, he is nothing and without him, I am nothing. 
I'm one of those girls; the girl who stands tall behind her Soldier, stands proud behind her Hero, stands strong behind her man, watching silently as he serves and defends our country. 


--Author Unknown